Twelve Crazy Nights
by Mister Don Johnny Cadet Sir
Summary: A series of of twelve one-shots dedicated to the parents of the Keroro Platoon. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, okay, here's another idea I've been meaning to type out... xD I'm an idiot. Sue me. **

**These series of one-shots are going to be dedicated to the parents of the Keroro Platoon. Some of them will be romantic, some will be funny, some will be... random, just, yeah XD Twelve one-shots, mostly to the pairings that I put the parents in. **

**Beware: I ship Giroro's dadxDororo's mom and now Giroro's momxKururu's dad. XD Keroro's parents and Tamama's parents are pushed off to the corner momentarily but they will also have a few chapters dedicated to them. **

**The actual canon and my personal interpretation of the parents: **

**Yokaka- Keroro's dad (dull green, small mustache, lazy, half closed eyes, helmet)**

**Terere- Keroro's mom (bright green, looks just like Keroro, black eyes, black afro-esque hairdo, apron)**

**Guzozo- Giroro's and Garuru's dad (dull crimson red, thick mustache, thick eyebrows, boxed Garuru-like red eyes, pink bandana)**

**Ponono- Dororo's mom (light blue, looks just like Dororo, wide pale blue eyes, white hat with a bun out in the back, light blue dress) **

**Gabubu- Giroro's and Garuru's mom (purple, looks like Giroro, slanted black eyes, brown, slightly crazy curled hair, two thin belts crossed at the chest)**

**Jiroro- Kururu's dad (blue, bright green eyes, small mustache parted in two sides, goatee, small glasses, lab coat)**

**Kirara- Tamama's mom (white, big black eyes, red hair tied in a ponytail, green dress)**

**Zanana- Tamama's dad (black, round eyes with dilated irises, karate-esque hat with a thick black ribbon, a black belt around his waist)**

* * *

"So. Tell me about these 'Dreams'."

The purple Keronian quietly leaned back against her chair, her fingers intertwined. She loathed feeling judged, but she knew it was crucial if she wanted to change- to be a different person, to not be so violent and cruel and to keep check of her intense anger.

She gazed up at the blue Keronian in front of her, the one that was scribbling something on his clipboard as he waited for her response. His piercing green eyes shot up at her from behind his glasses when she didn't say anything, his mouth twisting into a small frown.

"Gabubu?"

She twitched slightly. "It's... hard enough to sleep with them... much less talk about it..." she managed, drifting off.

Jiroro, the therapist, simply clicked his pen. Ugh. She hated that noise.

"Is this simply an excuse not to unbury old memories?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"W-what makes you think my dreams are memories?"

"Well, the discomfort you displayed was one thing," Jiroro said, his eyes sliding back down to his notes. "It isn't just simply an embarrassing memory either; you seem rather ashamed of it, like you just want to dismiss it as something that didn't happen. It also seems that your mind wants to torture you with those thoughts because you personally feel, subconsciously or not, that you deserve it. Tell me, Gabubu; do you think you deserve it?"

She bit her lower lip and looked down.

"Yes," she said softly, almost too much to comprehend.

Jiroro nodded, as if saying to himself, I thought so. "Seeing as you don't want to relive these constant nightmares, you more than likely haven't shared them with anybody else. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Well, then. When you're ready, I'm more than willing to listen."

Jiroro was more than a little disappointed when she took the opportunity to remain silent. He sighed and removed his glasses, pressing his index finger and thumb against the bridge of his nonexistent nose.

"Gabubu?"

"...Yes?"

"When was the last time you had a good cry?"

Gabubu rose her head and stared at him in bewilderment. "Huh?"

"Have you cried at all recently? I apologize if it sounds like a very unnecessary question, but I'm rather curious."

"I... don't cry," she said, rather irritated. "Soldiers don't cry. At all."

"Interesting."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just find that fascinating."

Gabubu scowled in annoyance. "And by that, what do you mean?"

"Do you often associate yourself more as a man than a woman?"

Dark red flashed against her cheeks as she irritably jumped out of her seat. "What?!"

"It's merely a question," Jiroro said coolly.

"It's... it's a stupid question!" Gabubu snapped. "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jiroro?"

"Absolutely nothing, I assure you," Jiroro responded, writing something else on his notepad. "It's just your behavior, your personality, your gestures, your constant military quips, your need to remain dominant in the situation and your aggravation when you aren't through anger and violence. Have you ever thought of that, Gabubu?"

"W-well..."

"Have you ever maybe taken into consideration into finding a man that is willing to treat you and make you feel like a woman? Is it that you just haven't had many opportunities to have that experience?"

Gabubu's blush deepened, and she slumped in her seat, turning her head away from him embarrassedly.

"...The last, and the, um... the only one who...made me feel like that was my husband." Her eyes dulled. "My ex-husband, I mean."

"...I see." Jiroro put the clipboard down. "It sounds like you still harbor some feelings for him then, correct?"

"It's not on purpose!" Gabubu snarled, lashing out this unexplainable, empty, tight emotion towards the doctor. "I-it... he's a flirt. He... does stupid stuff that... makes me feel good..." Her fingers perked up and grasped loosely at the coils of thick brown hair that fell near her face. "...He was the only one who thought I was... beautiful." She let go and folded her arms against her chest- a defensive maneuver, Jiroro noted to himself.

The words that popped out of his mouth were automatic, and caught them- both- completely off guard.

"I think you're beautiful."

Gabubu shot her head toward him, and he ducked his head slightly, his typical cool, confident air wavering for the first time she had ever seen him.

"...Am I not allowed to be honest?" Jiroro asked dryly, inwardly horrified that he wasn't able to keep the romantic overtones of his sentences underway while he was working. Flirting and teasing with a client was one thing when it was out of the workplace, but even he had a specific limit when it came to her, and that was during the therapy session.

What was he doing?

The color on her face had graduated into a pale pink color, one that he took notice of when she was feeling particularly touched or appreciative.

"...Thank you."

...He could feel something warm spread across _his own _face, and he was sure she could see it too, so he did what he usually did best: ignore it and pretend it wasn't happening.

Jiroro coughed tightly. "...Do you want to end this early for today?"

"Uh... sure. I don't mind as long as you don't."

"Good." Because he wasn't too sure he liked the intense rush of emotions that he was feeling at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know I should probably be working on One Hundred Days but truthfully, I'm kind of at a creative writer's block with that story ^^; I'm hoping my writing other stuff will inspire me to write more chapters for that story. **

**I'm only writing twelve one-shots; there are technically four couples, so that means there are going to be at least three chapters dedicated to each of them. I promise you none of them will get overly romantic. You know how I am. **

**I actually had some fun writing this chapter x'D; I hope it doesn't feel too rushed again. **

* * *

"Honey?" Keroro's dad peeked in through the kitchen. "Have you seen my socks? I know I technically don't really have feet for socks but it's still nice to put them on my head from time to time-" He paused. "Are you okay?"

His wife was at the table, her head ducked, her shoulders squared, her back toward him. A cloud of purple was enveloping her as she cackled quietly under her breath.

"Eh, why is there this mysterious and eerie aura surrounding you like you want to create some evil mischief?" Yokaka asked. "Again?"

"What? Oh, Yokaka, I... didn't hear you come in," Terere said suddenly, jumping out of her chair and hiding whatever she was looking at before behind her back.

"But I was yelling the whole time." Yokaka squinted his eyes slightly. "I think we need to get your ears checked."

"But I don't have ears."

"All the more to check them, my dear."

"Oh, you're worrying too much," Terere said dismissively. "It's all in your head."

"But do you know what's not on my head?" Yokaka pointed at his helmet. "My socks. I need to know where you put them."

"They're in the oven, dear," his wife responded. "Remember that's where you put them when you wanted to dry them a lot quicker last night after I washed them?"

"I was drunk, wasn't I?"

"Yes you were."

"Then I do not remember." He lumbered lazily to the oven and opened it. "...I turned the oven on to about four hundred degrees too, didn't I?"

"Yes you did."

"Well, that explains the ashes." He looked up at the clock and rose his nonexistent eyebrows. "Whelp. It's that time of day again." He kissed his wife on the cheek. "I'm going to go to work right now, okay? And I'll be home like I always am at that particular time which I can't remember at the moment." He picked up a yellow backpack from the the hallways and opened the front door. "Bye, honey!"

"Bye..." Terere's smile twisted into a a malicious grin. "Tere-tere-tere..."

* * *

The phone rang.

Guzozo, his cheek smeared with dough and rice, put down the plum that he was cutting.

"I got it!" Ponono sang, running over to the cordless phone. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Ponono! I knew you might be at Guzozo's!"

"Um... yes?" Ponono covered it with her chest and turned to the crimson Keronian, mouthing 'It's Terere', before realizing that he can't see her mouth. "It's Terere."

"Ah." Guzozo casually waved his hand to her. "Go ahead."

"No!" Terere's loud voice could be heard even without speaker. "I need your help! Both of you!"

Guzozo and Ponono glanced at each other warily.

"Concerning what?" Ponono asked, too polite for her own good.

"Today's the day. Today's the day I'm finally going to do it, but I think I've come to the conclusion that I actually need help in order to accomplish it!"

"Listen, Terere," Guzozo said, gently taking the phone from his girlfriend and pressing 'Speaker' as he set it down. "We have no idea what you're talking about."

"Today's our marriage anniversary."

"Oh!" Ponono clapped her hands together. "That's right! Congratulations, you too!"

Guzozo grinned despite himself. "Well, I guess that sort of makes sense. Yeah, congratulations. Were you planning on anything special?"

"I'm going to prank him so hard he won't talk to me for a week!"

"...Huh?" Ponono and Guzozo replied in complete monotone.

Terere sighed, and then said in explanation, "Every year on our anniversary I make it a point to prank him. But the thing is... he's unprankable. It seems that he _reads my mind _or something. No matter how hard I try, he always finds some sort of loophole and manages to sneak past my prank! So I need your help."

Guzozo gazed at Ponono before he looked at the phone and folded his arms. "Count me out."

"Oh, c'mon, Guzozo! You're his friend! You could contribute so much to the greater good!"

"...The greater good of humiliating Yokaka?" Ponono inquired dryly.

"Precisely!"

"...He won't get mad at us...?" Ponono asked quietly.

"When have you ever seen _Yokaka _mad at something like this?"

Guzozo's face softened to a more thoughtful expression. "True."

"You know how fun it is to prank with me, Ponono!" Terere urged. "C'mon! It'll be loads of fun!"

"I... guess it does sound a bit exciting..." the light blue Keronian looked at the red one.

Guzozo shook his head, realizing that his girlfriend was sold into the idea. Well. That didn't give him much of a choice... "Sure. What the heck. We'll meet you at your house in a few, then."

"Thank you so much!" Terere said cheerfully. "You won't regret it!"

* * *

"WHAT THE _FROG _IS THIS?!" Guzozo yelled, pointing accusingly to the purple Keronian in front of him as he glared at Terere.

Gabubu folded her arms irritably. "I was told this was going to be something of a stealth mission."

"C-calm down, Guzozo..." Ponono said soothingly, gently rubbing his arm.

"Is that what he told you?"

Guzozo stopped midway of his murderous rampage when he noticed the male blue Keronian sitting casually beside Gabubu. "...Jiroro?"

"It's nice seeing you again, corporal," Jiroro said with a slight smirk.

"...You.. know each other?" the purple frog questioned, looking at her ex-husband to her doctor.

"We were in the same platoon; the Yokaka platoon, if I remember correctly. How is the captain doing, by the way?" Jiroro asked Guzozo.

"...He's doing fine," Guzozo said suspiciously, looking around him. He took a step back. He then cleared his throat and gestured to the psychologist. "What are they doing here?"

"I'm going to need all the help I can get!" Terere said, clenching her fist tightly. "Meaning I've also enlisted the help of Gabubu and her boyfriend!"

"He's _not _my boyfriend," Gabubu said, exasperated. She fumed when Jiroro gave her a very suggestive glance. "When I said I was 'seeing' him, I meant I was seeing him as a _patient. _He's my doctor."

"Great. You need one," Guzozo quipped.

"Don't start," Gabubu scowled, pointing at him.

"I don't think it's bad," Ponono said gently. She smiled sweetly to Gabubu. "I'm glad you came! I love spending time with you."

The odd thing that Guzozo could not stand about his girlfriend was the fact that she was so close-minded. One thing she dead-set on believed in and she believed it to the end until she was proved wrong. Ponono believed his ex-spouse was a good person despite all the stories he told her about her.

It was worse after Ponono met Gabubu. The purple Keronian acted rather coldly at first, but Ponono, to his immense surprise, didn't actually see her lash out or act abusingly. Gabubu was actually _behaving, _something that he couldn't comprehend. Apparently she really was seeing a doctor, and a good one at that- Jiroro- the insane sociopathic nerd that had traveled along with his platoon.

...How the heck did _he _even get the job in the first place and do a good job at that?

The purple Keronian's facial expression softened, and she embarrassedly rubbed the back of her neck, looking away almost shyly. "Yeah. Um. Me too, I guess."

"We're forgetting the reason why we're all here today! ...Well, almost all here." Terere glanced around. "I guess those two decided not to come."

"I'm here~" a black Keronian said, closing the open door behind him and locking it. "Sorry. Karate class was running a bit late today."

"Where's Kirara?" Terere folded her arms.

"She said she couldn't come today," Zanana replied, shrugging. "She wouldn't tell me why, though."

"Anyway!" Terere announced, raising a hand in the air. "Here's the plan. Each of us are going to be designated a role in ultimately humiliating my husband in the ultimate prank of ultimate history!"

"That's a lot of ultimates," Guzozo commented.

"I don't mind embarrassing Yokaka," Jiroro said, leaning against his chair. "It's almost as fun as subjecting Guzozo to space lint."

"YOU BROUGHT IT WITH YOU DIDN'T YOU?!" the crimson Keronian yelled accusingly, his eyes dulling and dilating. He immediately took on a defensive position, fists clenched and legs bent.

"Oh, _please. _Be reasonable, corporal. As if I would have known that when Gabubu invited me for this 'stealth mission' I would have met up with you and Yokaka again? I think the years have been getting to you."

"...Wait. _This _is the stealth mission?!" Gabubu shot her head toward the bright green Keronian. Her face reddened, and she glared menacingly at her. "You dragged me all the way over here to _prank your husband _just for the thrill of it?! We have more important things to do then just do your stupid bidding, you know! Who the _frog _do you think you are?! When I'm done with you...!"

Jiroro casually handed her a squeaky rubber ball, and Gabubu stop ranting to accept it, taking deep breaths while squeezing it and unsqueezing it.

"And we are getting off track again," Terere interceded, getting annoyed that everyone kept butting into her planning. "Here's what we're going to do- you guys will come up with several pranks and set them up around the house. Just make sure to let me know about it so that I don't run into the trap. When we prank Yokaka, we can all pop out of nowhere and surprise him. Tere-tere-tere~"

"Question," Gabubu said, taking a final deep breath as she set the little toy ball on her knee. "...Why are we doing this?"

"Why not?" Terere replied. "It's fun."

"She never had a childhood," Guzozo said, rolling his eyes. He waved his hand dismissively. "You can go, Gabubu. If you don't want to be here you can obviously leave."

"...I'm going to stay here just to annoy you," Gabubu replied, folding her arms.

The two glared at each other, annoyed sparks zipping and zapping toward the other as if they were in some sort of anime or something.

"I'm in," Zanana said. "It does sound fun."

"As long as we don't hurt him," Ponono nodded. "I'll help."

"And we keep these two away from each other," Zanana smirked, jerking a thumb toward the divorced Keronians.

"_I'm _fine with it if she doesn't screw anything up," Guzozo muttered.

"You were the one with the butterfingers," Gabubu shot back. Jiroro handed her the ball again and she snatched it from him and squeezed it harder than she did before, and more rapidly. The squeak inside it actually popped out and fell onto the floor.

Jiroro sighed, shaking his head. "That's the fifth one this week. I'll go get another one."

Ponono simply hugged her boyfriend's arm. "Guzozo, please stop."

The red Keronian shook his head. "...Fine. As long as _she _does."

"You were the one that started it!" Gabubu growled.

"Gabubu, you take that side of the house," Terere instructed. "And Guzozo, you can take the other side. Feel free to be as far as possible from each other and don't break anything. Okay?"

"Deal," Gabubu and Guzozo said unanimously. After a final warning glance, they went to their designated areas, Jiroro following after the purple Keronian and Ponono after the red one.

"This... is going to be good," Terere giggled.

* * *

"I'm home," Yokaka called out, coming inside the house with a bucket of fish. "And I brought lunch!"

"Honey! Hi!" Terere said, waving to her husband. "It's so _nice _to see you again! How _are _you?"

"You're not very good at acting, dear."

"Yes, I know that. Tis a shame. Why don't you go _take a shower _and I'll prepare lunch for you?"

"Sounds great," Yokaka said, kissing her forehead as he handed over the bucket. "I'll be over in a few."

Meanwhile, hidden under the bed of Yokaka's room, Zanana grinned widely to himself. _This prank is foolproof. I'm absolutely bound to trick Yokaka and prove myself the ultimate victor!_

Yokaka hummed to himself as he reached over and turned on the shower, holding his hand out to touch the water. To his surprise, it dripped blue paint on his fingers. "Huh. It seems the neighbors let their mutant blue seahorse chew on the Niberry tree and somehow melt into the drain again. Oh, well. I can always take a bath instead. Good thing I didn't just climb on inside and take a shower like that! I would have been completely _covered _in blue paint!"

_IT FAILED. _Zanana face-floored on the carpet.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work, Guzozo?" Ponono whispered.

"Positive! Haven't you ever tried the ol' put-a-chalky-blackboard-eraser-at-the-edge-of-an-o pened-door-and-watch-as-it-falls-on-top-of-the-tea cher's-head-when-he-opens-it?"

"...No?"

"Aw, but you were probably a goody-two-shoes, weren't you?"

"I don't know what tha- oh! Sh! He's coming!"

Yokaka came out with a towel lagging around his neck and hanging from his shoulders. "Ahh, that felt good. You know what also feels good? Conspicuously opening the closet door for no reason in particular."

Guzozo and Ponono ducked deeper from behind the sofa, expecting the oncoming _plop! _of the dusty chalkboard eraser as it made contact to the helmet of the dull green Keronian. When all they heard was his calm, uninterrupted whistling, they peeked out.

They were horrified to see that the eraser was balanced carefully on top of the door, Yokaka digging in his closet for whatever he was looking for.

_"It didn't work?_" Ponono murmured.

Yokaka then closed it- the eraser still miraculously balanced up there- and walked cheerfully away with a box of decorations.

"...I can't believe it," Guzozo said, hopping out of his hiding spot when the sergeant couldn't be heard any longer. He put his hands on his waist and inspected the door. "It should have worked."

"Maybe it's just stuck?" Ponono suggested innocently, coming up from behind him and opening the door herself.

"Ponono, don't-!"

_Poof! _

The two coughed and waved their hands in the air, desperate to rid themselves of the chalk-infested atmosphere that they surrounded themselves in.

* * *

"Two plans out of three," Terere whispered venomously. "_Dangit! _I should have known he was prepared to face these challenges. Well! It doesn't matter now. I saved the best for last. Tere-tere-tere."

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Gabubu said quietly, holding on to her end of the rope. "Yokaka is going to go through this entry way-" she pointed at the exit of the kitchen that also led into the living room, where they stood at both sides, behind the wall, undetected, "-we pull on these ropes-" she gestured to the object in her hands, "and then he trips and falls on that pie." She cocked her head at the random pie a little ways off."

"That is correct," Jiroro nodded, using a free hand to push up his glasses.

"Hmph. It seems foolproof."

"Now, why did you have to go on and say that? You do realize that because you did that this plan isn't going to work?"

Gabubu scrunched up her face. "I think it'll work."

"Mmhm. I thought so too at first, but now that you've said the forbidden words this plan is sure to fail."

The purple frog rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Uh-huh. So... did we forget anything?"

"We have the rope. We have the pie."

"Foolproof, Jiroro-" Gabubu immediately silenced as footsteps made their way to the entrance. "Shh... aaaand... _now!" _She and Jiroro pulled the rope.

"Ooh~ a pi-" Terere squeaked as she tripped on the suddenly sturdy rope and fell on top of the pastry, the delicious filling spraying all over her face.

Gabubu covered her mouth, a trickle of sweat sliding down the side of her face. Jiroro simply watched on coolly.

"...We forgot to inform her of our plan, didn't we?" Jiroro inquired, gazing at Gabubu. He smirked. "...Hate to say I told you so."

"Terere? Was that you?" Yokaka popped his head into the living room, somehow unaware that the two other Keronians were a few feet from his sides. "What? Is it that time of year already?" Yokaka glanced at his watch. "But I thought Trip-Into-A-Pie-Day was next Thursday? Oh, well. Enjoy it while you can, right? I'll go prepare the rest of the fish." He disappeared back into the kitchen.

"This is worse than I thought," Jiroro muttered to himself as Terere sat up, scraping the pie flesh from her face. "We're dealing with someone who is truly so ingenious that it might be downright impossible to defeat him. What we are dealing with, my acquaintances... is an idiot." He hit a closed hand into an open palm. "He's so stupid he's practically a genius."

"What do we do now?" Gabubu asked cautiously.

"There's only one thing we can do: concede defeat. There is no way we are any match for a Keronian of his idiocy."

"I refuse!" Terere cried out.

"Give it up," Jiroro said with a soft sigh as everyone else made their way in the living room. "We already lost."

The doorbell rang.

"I got it..." Terere said, slumping with disappointment. She opened the door and did a small double take when she saw Kirara standing there with an enormous cake in her hands. "K-Kirara?"

"Oh, shoot! It was meant to be a surprise!" She puckered out her lips slightly. "Pretend I don't have a cake here!"

"Don't open the...!" Yokaka paused when he saw everyone all together at once in the living room. He widened his eyes. "Terere..."

"I can explain...?" Terere attempted.

"You... remembered our anniversary and invited everyone over to celebrate!" The dull green frog hugged his wife with one arm. "I knew you wouldn't forget! I'm glad you didn't try to prank me like you do every year!"

"So _that's _why you couldn't come earlier," Zanana nodded, looking down at the cake in his wife's arms. "You're such a sweetie~"

Terere took the cake from the white Keronian and looked down at it. Written in green frosting were the words, '_Happy Anniversary!_" Her eyes clouded with tears. "O-oh, Yokaka... Thank you so much... it's beautiful... come and look at it..."

"Sure," Yokaka walked beside his wife and gazed down at the cake. "Oh, yeah, it looks positively delicious-"

Terere grabbed his head and dunked it into the cake.

Everyone stared at her with either a look of mortification or shock or some mixture in between.

"...I pranked you," Terere said sweetly.

Yokaka slowly rose out of the cake and looked at her. He grinned. "That you did."

Terere merrily took the remains of the splattered cake and walked over to the kitchen. Guzozo shook his head to his old friend.

"She seems quite a handful," the red Keronian said dryly.

"She is," Yokaka nodded. "But she adds that little bit of excitement I need in my life."

"And she does this to you every year?"

"Yup. I manage to see through her pranks all the time, though; she's so readable, it's hard to _not _notice, which is probably why she made you guys set up the pranks this year. They sucked, by the way," Yokaka added as he looked over the adult frogs.

"But you didn't see through this one," Kirara pointed out, dabbing her finger on the frosting of the demon sergeant's face and poking it into her mouth.

"Nah, I let her beat me at least once at the end of the day," Keroro's father shrugged. "No big deal. If she's happy, I'm happy."

"That's so kind of you," Ponono smiled.

"Yeah, I know. Now c'mon. Help me set up the decorations in the kitchen and we could have a real party." Yokaka gestured toward the kitchen. "I have ice cold beers in the fridge."

"Sweet!" Guzozo cheered.

"Oh dear..." Ponono murmured.

"Don't you dare slip any into my cup, Guzozo," Gabubu said warningly.

"Why not? It'll keep you passed out long enough to leave everyone alone."

Gabubu clenched her fists again, her cheeks turning dark red.

"Guzozo... please stop..." Ponono nuzzled his shoulder.

The male Keronian let out a deep breath. "...Fine. I'll leave you alone, then." Ponono urged him into the kitchen, glancing over her shoulder and giving Gabubu a silent _I'm sorry_ look.

Gabubu watched on, her face expressionless.

"...I'm sure he'll forgive you soon," Jiroro assured her quietly.

"I hope so," she muttered.

"He will. Come. I'll let you hold my hand~"

"Keep dreaming, Jiroro."

He smirked and followed her to the kitchen.

After flattening the cake so that it looked more edible than it did with Yokaka's plastered face on the top, Kirara cut it up and helped distribute it to the others, plopping one in front of Zanana and taking his bottle of alcohol away from him, draining it in the sink when he protested.

"I think this year was the best," the demon sergeant said confidently to his wife, who was cleaning the cake from off his face.

"Do you think so?"

"Definitely."

Terere giggled, jumped on him and wrapped her arms around his nonexistent neck. "Happy anniversary, honey."


	3. Chapter 3

Zanana was afraid to come to the door.

The black Keronian decided to take a longer route to avoid getting home so early; of course, he had to reach his door at some point. Still, didn't mean he didn't have to come right away, right?

He picked up the paper. He played with the neighbor's dog that hated him so much. He stopped an ice cream truck to mull over the tasty frozen treats before finally admitting to the impatient truck driver that he had no money. He said hi to that one kid, who screamed "STRANGER!" as soon as he was approached by an old guy.

Finally, he found himself at the front porch of his house. He bit his lip uncomfortably.

With a teary farewell to the world and bracing himself with all his might, he knocked on the door. Two slow, quiet knocks. It almost went unheard.

Almost.

As soon as the door swung open, Zanana ducked, dodged, jumped, and skid to the side as numerous items were thrown at him: a lamp, a china plate, a green tortoise, the dusty mat that they hung on the wall, a bottle of lotion, and some sort of moldy orange.

Fortunately it was only the orange that hit him.

"YOU CHEATER!" Kirara yelled, pointing at him accusingly.

"I-I'm not cheating!"

"Then why do you sound so guilty?!" She grunted as she picked up a cup that was conveniently within reach and threw it at him. He yelped and covered his head down as it flew past his head.

_There has to be something that could buy me some more time_! Zanana thought worriedly. Suddenly, a stroke of genius zipped in his mind.

"Honey, honey, honey!" Zanana cried out, waving his hands, stopping her from tossing the drawer she had pulled out from one of the desks that were nearby. "The readers have no idea what's going on!"

Kirara's face twisted from one of anger to one of thoughtfulness. "True. Narrator, recap for us."

**Uh, first of all, I don't want to get involved in this... and second of all, I'm not getting paid for this, so-**

"NARRATOR, RECAP FOR US!"

**Alright, alright! Sheesh, okay, flashback. **

* * *

_A few days ago... _

_Memory~ _

_With his absurd mouthy comment taken seriously, Jiroro didn't know what to do. While typically he was very smooth and savvy, when he suggested that women feel more secure when they are being cuddled and are least likely to have bad dreams, Gabubu, who was suffering from the abuse of nightmares, told him to sleep with her. After giving him a sweet, almost begging look, he couldn't will himself to tell her no, even though he really didn't want to crawl into bed with her. With shaky flourish, he immediately slid the lab coat from off his shoulders and told her to scoot over so that he could have some room in the bed. Finally under the covers with her body mere inches away from his, he found himself unable to think... appropriately. _

_She looked so gentle and cute, her arms bent upward with her fists just under her chin. She had turned away from him, but he couldn't think straight. It felt... awkward, the body of such an attractive woman so close from him, her body heat radiating near his own. A thick, undeniable blush swept across his cheeks as sweat trickled down his face. _

_"Jiroro? Are you asleep yet?"_

_"N-not quite," the doctor replied with a weak chuckle. He turned away from her as he felt her sit up and peer over at him. _

_"Jiroro?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Permission to cuddle?" _

_Jiroro felt his face go aflame with humiliation. _

_This was certainly not in his job description. _

_"S-...sure," Jiroro managed to choke out. "E-err... turn around..." His arms shook as he felt them envelope her shoulders. _

_Though at this moment he couldn't take it anymore. He promptly excused himself and fled the scene. _

_Throughout the night, Gabubu, impersonal and rather aloof about this awkward position paid no attention to the emotional displays of her usually passive doctor. She decided that she could not sleep without him near, and was insistent on having her cuddle him, much to his dismay. _

_Finally, she confronted him by pinning down against the bed when he was back and within reach._

_"Why are you acting so odd?" Gabubu asked him, brows furrowed down. "Tell me." _

_He simply looked up at her, silent, unsure of how to respond. He then sighed, and decided to just spit it out. _

_She was too dense for her own good. Wouldn't see how he felt about her if it slapped her across the face. _

_"Gabubu," he began, gazing at her, "I-" _

_"Jiroro, I know." _

_Struck dumb, he blinked at her. Eyes widened with hope. _

_"...You do?"_

_"Yes," Gabubu said gently, backing away slightly so Jiroro could comfortably sit up on his own. "Zanana told me." _

_Jiroro held his breath, prepared for anything that was coming at him. _

_"You're homosexual." _

_He jumped, eyes popping right out of their sockets._

_"Really, it's nothing to be ashamed about, soldier," Gabubu said with a shrug. "I don't care about your sexual orientation, but I would prefer if you were more open about it." _

* * *

"You told her I was GAY!"

"C'mon! There had to be some sort of comic relief amongst all that romantic mush. You're not the romantic kind, Jiroro." Zanana paused to chuckle. "No offense." He grinned when he caught hot, twitching daggers of doom aim into his own purple eyes. "What?"

"I... I am going to get you back," Jiroro responded, his voice chilling.

"You always get me back, bud," Zanana perked a brow. "During our random moments where I just come out of nowhere and attack you, and then the part where I give up and buy you drinks every frogging time isn't enough?"

Jiroro rested his elbow against the marble bar table, cheek resting in hand. "No."

"Okay, then, fine," Zanana snorted slightly, "But really, bud, you aren't the best at practical jokes. I mean, you're smart and all, but I really don't see you coming up with th- what are you doing?"

"I'm calling your wife," Jiroro replied. He pulled up the phone to his nonexistent ear and waited as it rang.

"Are you going to try to flirt with my wife?" Zanana smirked triumphantly and folded his arms. "Well let me tell you, that's not going to-"

"I'm coming clean," the light blue Keronian said, his voice soft and fragile and almost too real sounding. "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't stand it anymore. I'm breaking it up." Zanana made a strange face to him just as Kirara audibly asked from the other line what the frog was going on. "I'm having an affair with your husband."

"WHAT?!" Zanana and Kirara cried out simultaneously, one frog in one ear and another at his other. He winced from the pain and rubbed one of his ears with his shoulder.

"Have a nice day," Jiroro said sweetly, hanging up.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Zanana yelled, horrified. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT SHE'S GOING TO DO TO ME WHEN I GET HOME?!"

"Exactly."

"She was a circus performer, Jiroro. A CIRCUS PERFORMER."

"Tightrope walker?"

"Worse." Zanana grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook him violently. "A STRONGMAN! I MARRIED A STRONGMAN, JIRORO!"

"Strongwoman," Jiroro said, pulling away from the panicked Keronian's wild grasp. "It sounds strange out of context-"

"She can lift things TEN TIMES HER WEIGHT. Ten. Times. HER WEIGHT." Zanana's small pupils had dilated to the extreme. "I'm going to appear on Dateline."

"I'll look out for you," Jiroro said cheerfully. "Have a good night."

* * *

**There, I'm done. Can I go home now? **

"You were right about one thing, shmuckums," Kirara lifted their sofa and easily brought it over her head. (**On second thought, I think I'll stay for another moment longer**) "YOU ARE SO GOING TO APPEAR ON 'TO CATCH A PREDATOR'!"

"WRONG SHOW, WRONG SHOW!" Zanana screamed, terrified for his life. He tumbled out the front door and ran for the streets, his wife tailing after him.

"THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BETTER RUN!"

* * *

Later that night, Kirara and Zanana came home to a practically empty living room, all their possessions either destroyed or taken from the street by passersby.

The female quietly looked at Zanana, who was still streaked with sweat. She could hear his chest pound with exhaustion and slow as his final bout of adrenaline began to sink.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Zanana turned to her, lips stretching up. With a tired gulp of air, he wrapped his arm lovingly around her.

"That's okay. I needed to exercise anyway."

They sat silently on the spacious floor.

"We still have our tv."

"I can go get our blankets. And love pillows."

"Maybe eat some popcorn?"

"We can watch Dateline."

Kirara and Zanana gave each other dubious glances before grinning widely, their smiles bursting into a small bit of laughter.

"Alright, sure," Kirara stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles from off her skirt. She turned her gaze to Zanana, who made his way to the kitchen. "Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're not mad?"

Zanana walked back to her, leaned over and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "We're good-looking Keronians, babe. It's normal to feel a little jealous sometimes."

"True," Kirara said brightly. She hugged Zanana and rested her head against his chest. "Promise me you'll never leave me, though."

"Oh, you know I won't."

"Good. Because if anything, the only person I wouldn't forgive is myself." She gazed into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

...

"...I wish there was a funnier way of ending this chapter."

"Please don't ruin this moment, dear."

* * *

**These are my interpretation of Tamama's parents XD Lovey-dovey, over-protective of each other, extremely jealous. They are forever stuck in the "cupcake phase", with only a few times where they get into arguments (more comedic than anything, though there are moments when they're serious, though it's not often).**

**I know it's mentioned Tamama has younger brothers, but I always imagined him to be an only child. No clue why.**

**Still... hope you enjoy.**


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